Lessons learned the hard way

Last week I learned that when I don't have enough yoga for me, I don't have anything to give my students.

This week I learned that if I don't have anything to give to my students, they don't show up the following week.

Maybe this is something that happens frequently to new teachers, but after teaching two classes that went (reasonably) well I had some crazy idea that I knew what I was doing and I didn't need to practice my sequences before class. I barely scribbled out my sequence beforehand, much less practiced it.

Experience is such a accurate teacher. Yesterday I had one mom and baby pair show up for my class. Believe me, I was grateful for that one mom and baby pair, but also humbled in a big way because the mom is a much more experienced yogini than me. I felt like she would be the better teacher, 200 hour yoga training program or not.

I love small classes, and do see them as an opportunity to get to know one student and his/her body well vs. knowing a dozen students superfically. I loved that this one student showed up with her adorable 9 month old daughter who isn't crawling yet so I have no problem with her in my pre-crawling class.

I did my best, as best as I could for being unprepared. I had such a crazy day (up at 5am to do network engineer work, then working at Ava's school from 9-1) before I even got to the 2:30pm class that it's a miracle I could remember any asanas. But the restorative pose at the end...I just got the feeling that the supported badda konasana pose I put her into at the end made the class for her. Especially when she was trying to hold her daughter and relax at the same time, I said to her, "how about if you sit your daughter next to you and I'll play with her while you rest." This adorable little girl and I played peek-a-boo with a foam block for a while, to her delight, and then as she was sitting in front of me, I would peek on either side of her and whisper "boo!" She leaned into me and I felt...forgiven.

I asked whomever was on duty up above to give this mom five minutes of uninterrupted rest in this pose. And they listened, because her little girl played with me for seven.

The mom in my class asked for something I filed for future reference...how can we do more yoga with her baby? I'm playing with this idea, which is challenging, but a worthy challenge none the less.

This week, I go back to studying from my trusted teachers, humbled by my inexperience and arrogance.

I just pulled an angel card "for my mom and baby class": Transformation
And one for me right now: Patience

From The Angel Cards Book by Kathy Tyler and Joy Drake:

Transformation: Change happens when you take responsibility for your awareness and apply it to your everyday life, small moment by small moment.

Patience: Be fully available to the present and bring all of your attention to what is actually happening now. Relax into the flow of life.

(Wow!)

Paring things down

When we last left our heroine (me) I had two jobs - my old one I didn't like but felt obligated to give obscene amount of notice before I left (2-1/2 months) - and my new one I like but didn't have time to do properly.

Well, as of last Saturday I was down to one job - the new one only. It's just starting to sink in that I only have two emails to check instead of three (personal, job #1, & job #2) and when I got a call on my mobile that clearly identified itself as a client site of my previous job, I didn't have to answer it. I didn't even have to feel guilty about not answering it. I hit the key to send that call right to voice mail, which the caller didn't leave, thankfully.

One job. I hardly knew how to manage my time today with only one company's work to do.

Plus, last week, which must have been the paring down of Julie's responsibilities week, I also talked to the owner of Elevation yoga studio about my mom & baby class that after five weeks has seen no moms and no babies. It's on the opposite side of town from me and I have to go there regardless of the lack of moms and babies, because there might possibly be one. So we agreed to cancel the class for now except a promotional one for a large, prominent San Francisco mother's group in a few weeks (where they have to pre-register - yay!). After that, we'll see. I really wanted to quit altogether, but super-responsible me, putting others wants ahead of me, said I would wait and see. A part of me, a loud part of me, keeps saying in my head, maybe after that I can find her another mom and baby yoga instructor.

I am teaching mom and baby yoga though - at another studio that is a mere 1 mile away from my house. It's a great space and with minimal advertising except posting on one key mailing list there were three mom and baby pairs at my first class three weeks ago. It's been a few more since, but not too many, which is perfect since teaching yoga is new enough to me and managing to remember some sort of reasonable sequence is hard to do when I'm pacifying one or two upset babies, much less twenty.

I learned something phenomenally simple and crucial this week though, and that is if I don't have enough yoga for myself during a week, it's much harder for me to teach yoga to others. If I don't have enough yoga for me, I don't have any to give away to my students. So I'm (trying to) fill up with practicing more yoga especially now that I'm down to one part-time job.

I also subbed a restorative class last weekend that was delicious. A few of the students were a bit dazed coming out, with that glossy eyed look of someone who just woke up from a really good nap, and I figured I did okay. I love teaching restorative - there's something great seeing people relax and rest.

So what's really strange about today is that now, at 9:51PM on a Monday I haven't fallen into an exhaustive sleep. For the last few months, or maybe the last year, I've fallen asleep at 8:30 or 9PM with my daughter. I lay down with her to help her fall asleep and I crash right along with her. I wondered why I needed 9-10 hours of sleep a night but did it anyway. I was tired! Now I wonder if this later night energy will stick around. Maybe it's the effect of working less? We shall see, my treasured audience, we shall see.