AW Check-in week 9 and ramblings

I had a dream last night that there were three chapters left and I was going to do them all in one week and be done. I'm a bit overwhelmed between yoga and the AW and working and my family. Somehow I am juggling, vaguely balancing them all. I was feeling really guilty about not spending as much time with Ava as before yoga. Her behaviour has shifted gradually to that of an almost-two-year-old. Terrible twos? Yeah, I had hoped we would be immune, but I can feel them approaching.

She's into everything. EVERYTHING! No cupboard, cabinet, space under the beds is untouched. She used to stop doing things when I said no, and I didn't have to say it much, but now she listens maybe 1/3 of the time and stops. She says no now too, where before she just shook her head. Maybe all this should be on her blog instead - LOL.

I was feeling like a bad mom, that I was doing something wrong because she is more out of control these days. Talking to T set that straight, it's just how she is. He got her an awesome new tricycle - the kind with the big silver bar out the back for the parent to push. This is a dream come true - it is great exercise for her as she has to sit up straight and hold onto the handle bars even if she can't reach the pedals yet. T said he's found the best way to manage the "out of control Ava" is to put her on the bike and take her for a ride.

Can I just write, and I suppose I will, that I am so grateful for him! So grateful to have a partner in the parenting process. I once arrogantly thought I could be a single mom, that I just wanted a baby and I could do it on my own. Yikes! I have all kinds of help and it's still tiring! It's so wonderful to just have another opinion, another whole person who has energy levels different to mine.

Tasks, I like to talk about tasks even though they aren't in the check in list. I read some of my morning pages and then stopped because I had a dozen different ideas for the book I'm writing and they were distracting! Plus I didn't have a lot of time and it seemed pointless to do them now.

I didn't do any other tasks, although my head took a couple creative u-turns this week. I wanted to quit yoga training, it's too much time, too much sacrifice, too much... but I didn't. I didn't quit, even when I had a teacher at a class I didn't like who passive-aggressively guilted me about being in her level 2-3 class when I was clearly a level 1 (for that kind of yoga, I am going to assume). ARGH! Creative monsters are in yoga too. She pummeled me with 20 questions about the teacher training and why would I do it, it's not enough time to learn to teach yoga, blah blah blah, make me feel bad about doing training, blah blah blah.

Although I will point out that I was one of six students in her class. Six. Classes I take with teachers I love like Karl or Christopher are always full to the brim with forty or fifty students in a class. And Karl, who I've known for years, has generously offered to have me assist in his classes after the training is over instead of now when I am frantically juggling child care for Ava.

I'll do task #2 now, or at least part of it:

I am a YOGA INSTRUCTOR!
I am leading classes for kids at the martial arts studio during the week. I lead classes for toddlers, preschoolers, and elementary school kids. I also lead classes for prenatal women. My style is ecclectic but based on the fundamental, requisite qualities of yoga. Show up, push your limits, breathe. My style is fun, engaging, motivating, and compassionate.

I will make my task this week to take pictures of myself doing yoga poses so I can correct and modify them.

Task #3
Creative goals for the year:
complete first draft of my book
finish yoga teacher training
teach two regular kids yoga classes

For the month:
get through this month of teacher training!
complete AW
write a 2-3 days a week on my book

For the week:
practice yoga 6 hours a week, half in classes, half at home
read websites about yoga for kids
write 2-3 days on my book

Anyway, about that AW Check In

1. I did my mp's 7/7 days, and actually in the morning. I haven't shifted towards compassion about u-turns, but I will take that on starting today.

2. Artist Date
I am tired of doing solo artist dates, so what I considered my artist dates this week were:
Going to dinner with my succulent friends, Becky and Stef. As we were driving back to Becky's house from dinner, I said to them, you're my favorite kind of friends: low maintenance! We haven't all been together since November, but there is an ease, a comfort in being together that is just...marevelous. They inspire, delight, and accept me for who I am. Thank you!!!

I also went for a walk around the block with Ava, who reminded me that everything is fun to play with, especially when she held out her hand to touch a passing shrub.

If AD's are about getting inspired, I'm going to seek out people rather than solo events. I spend enough time alone, I want to play with others!

3. Synchronicity...
We just found out this morning that Ava was accepted into a co-op, parent run daycare that we adore. They also said they would love for me to teach yoga to the kids in the daycare! They may be my first yoga class for kids!!!

4. Issues...this week was an emotional roller coaster. I was angry and viscious during parts, moody and weepy during others. I know it's yoga doing it's magic, but it's also the AW.

Now, onward to Week 10. How is everyone else doing???? Send me links to your check-ins I'd love to read them!