AW Week 7: Check In

Checking in...somehow it feels more real if I do it here rather than just in my notebook.

First, before I even start the check in, THANK YOU to everyone who commented this week! Your words were inspiring and encouraging - there is nothing better to a writer than to know your words are being read!!!!

For those who wondered - I really recommend the Animal Speak book. It's been guiding me for about six years now!

Now for the check in...
1. I did my MPs everyday. Even every day that my mom was staying with me (Sun through Thurs) when I felt bad at going off into a corner by myself and writing for 20 minutes and leaving her alone. I did it anyway, and thank heaven I did. Yes, I daydreamed a creative risk in being a yoga teacher and now I'm in the training. I'm a bit scared to daydream more creative risks because I'm not ready for more big changes in my life!

2. AD - yes I did a couple mini dates when I went to Rainbow Foods (co-op organic grocery store in SF) and got a pedicure at a wonderful new salon in Russian Hill called Lavande. But then I did a for real big artist date last night and went to SOTA, a local public arts high school, and saw students reading excerpts from unfinished plays they were writing.

That in itself was cool, considering that I was courting imperfection and I didn't want to see a perfectly rehearsed play performed by grown-ups who have studied acting all their lives. Nope, in the spirit of this week I wanted to see imperfection. The announcer/narrator said at the very beginning these were likely the first plays the students had written, and could very well be first drafts. Woo hoo! Students read from scripts in hand, flubbed up lines, didn't speak loud enough, didn't look up at the audience the whole time. I'm making it sound bad but really it was wonderful.

The best part though was that a woman sat next to me who I noticed as she walked in - turned out to be the dance teacher at the school. She was one of those people who just radiated passion, energy, and enthusiasm, even though she was losing her voice. We talked before the performance about the school and I told her I was studying to be a yoga teacher because I want to bring yoga to public elementary schools.

She then said there are grants - GRANTS - for that sort of thing! I can get a grant to bring yoga to public schools! Woo hoo!

It felt like a Celestine Prophecy moment :)

3. Synchronicity. If there was any more sync in my life this week, I would have felt trampled by it.

4. Issues...yes. I got to give up my "story" that I couldn't be a yoga teacher because my hearing is bad because the teacher leading the teacher training has bad hearing! The biggest issue that got knocked down and led out of the ring on a stretcher was my hidden lurking perfectionism! I got so much accomplished this week because I didn't have to do anything perfectly! My living room wall got painted, I started my book, I went to my training and didn't have to be perfect. I was encouraged not to be perfect! As it would turn out, my foot that isn't flexible because of my past surgery and my imperfect body that can't do every single pose is a gift. Now my future students don't have to be perfect either!

5. I know there isn't a #5 but I'm creating one to talk about this week's tasks. I barely did any of them. I did write the mantra on three pieces of paper and stuck them around the house. They irritated me, but I kept them up there. I didn't listen to one side of an album, I didn't go to a sacred space (except yoga studios are sacred space for me if they count).

I created a wonderful smell by making banana bread, but that was because my bananas were black and ready, not because it was a task.

I didn't wear my favorite item of clothing, unless you count my cropped jeans but I always wear them.

I didn't buy anything wonderfully comforting, except I did buy a new pair of yoga pants - 95% cotton in a green somewhere between olive and lime. Okay, maybe they count but I bought them because I only have one pair of yoga pants and with all the yoga I'm going to take I wanted something more.

And for the biggie...I didn't do the collage. I thought about doing the collage. I searched for magazines with images I like and after looking in a few places finally bought cooking light, real simple, and yoga journal. Of course now they're brand new and I don't want to tear them up! I really fear collages. I fear that if I do put what I want out there on paper with images that I will have TOO MUCH in my life. I guess I always fear this - I'm pretty good about doing what I want to do once I figure it out and I'm afraid I'll be overwhelmed.

I think what I fear most is that there will be too much in my life and it won't all fit - that if I put in something new that something old will have to go. If I have a new interest that it will steal time away from my time with my daughter or T. It seems like I have to give up something I like to get something else I want. Where does my time go, exactly. I don't watch TV, I clean only when necessary, I don't feel like I have any spare time!

Then at the last minute I read the bit Julia C talkes about in task #10 - collage more thoroughly a dream you are trying to accomplish. This, I just might be able to do. A specific collage may meet my needs more than one with everything I like in life.

Maybe I'll do it in another couple weeks after I've read through my new magazines.