Time to Kill

Today, a miracle happened in my neighborhood, on my street, in my house, and personally to me.

The morning started off with homicide contemplation, or perhaps Murder-1 if it was contemplated? No matter, I wanted to not just run away from home, but move out of it altogether and leave everything behind. T just wanted to kill me, after I made a horrid comment about how I trained my Dad to not call me at 6AM...

So I started bitching in my journal, until I asked myself the question....what do I want?

I wrote: "I want a quiet, relaxing day." Now, I did not believe this would happen today, nor really until Sunday, because T's niece and nephew are in town until tomorrow, it's my day to have Ava, and three kids in one house does not make for quiet or relaxing. It's just not possible. As the time drew nearer to 7AM, when the two bonus kids (who are great kids, mind you) would arrive, I meditated for a minute to get a tiny bit of peace in my day, and couldn't drop the sense of forboding hanging over my head like a rain cloud.

7AM came and went, so did 7:30AM, at 8AM, the time T's mom had to be at work, I walked down to T and asked when the kids were showing up...he made a couple of calls and found out that his friend J would have them in the morning until T's mom got off work at 1PM.

What???? No kids until 1PM, and even then, only for maybe half an hour, at which point, Ava would go away too???

Someone heard me. Someone, somewhere, perhaps one of my angels, heard me say I wanted a quiet and relaxing day. Someone decided that it was a good idea to give it to me.

"Let's go to breakfast!" I suggested to T. We were up and out the door within minutes, headed to Boogaloo's in the Mission for breakfast where we lingered as if we had more time than oxygen. I drank three cups of coffee and had marvelous lemon cornmeal pancakes, T ate Huevos Rancheros and then ordered coffee cake. Ava behaved so marvelously, we weren't sure what to do with ourselves.

T posed the always-amusing question, "What if someone from the hospital called and said there was a mix-up and Ava wasn't really ours?"

He asked me this question after we had Ava for a week and I didn't care one way or the other. Now I care. Big time care. My eyes stabbed him with a dirty look. We both looked at Ava, who somehow really looks like both of us now and laughed. Sorry, if we're not your real parents, you're stuck with us anyway. I told him finally, "I'd have to see a blood test." Which meant I would also be following the blood sample from technician to lab to doctor to ensure it was definitely Ava's blood and nobody was trying to steal my kid by mixing it up with another kid's blood.

We had an easy day, a quiet day, when T's mom appeared and shuffled out all the kids, and the house was...silent. I had enough time before yoga to get a pedicure, and then I still had half an hour before yoga and I wandered. I was browsing through a second-hand kids clothing store, because it was there, when Becky called me and asked if it was a good time (to talk)...

Good time? It's a GREAT time! I have time to kill before my yoga class.

Then we both laughed, partly out of surprise, because I haven't had spare time since I started working...until today.

Thank you angels, I needed that.