lowercase

this is one of those lowercase kinds of days. the kind of day where i don't understand the purpose of my life, why i'm here, why i bother. it seems so futile, so pointless. no, i'm not going anywhere, and i'm not even suicidal, i'm just pondering. i don't feel up to doing anything that i've committed to doing.

this is the day i want to stay in bed. but i'm not, i got up anyway, and went to work, and am trying to be present, but i'm really not.

what is the point of making a difference? I really don't know today. I want to type something fabulously optimistic, like tomorrow I'll know better, but I'm tired of being optimistic. This is when having a dog would be a good thing, but I have cats who sort of act like dogs.

Je ne se pas.