Week 4: Check In

I broke the reading deprivation in little bits - I read a couple blogs, I read bits of text in a color design book but to be honest I was just looking at the pictures to get ideas of how to remake my bedroom! I didn't read any books for my "project" which was actually quite nice as I could hear my own thoughts again bubbling back up. I felt a little restless as I use reading to relax, but found I could live without it.

I did my morning pages every day this week, even though my hand was starting to hurt. It's comforting to get the chaotic thoughts out of my head onto the page - I know if I don't do it I am less loving and less available to everyone in my life.

My artist date - I told myself my official artist date was to get a massage Thursday after work - which I did and it was fabulous. But I also went to an exercise class Thursday at lunchtime that still has my muscles complaining and a yoga class taught by one of my favorite teachers today. I think of artist dates as time I take for myself - whatever I'm doing. I have been etching out slices of time for myself to take care of me, and I've found T to be incredibly supportive and willing to watch Ava so I can go.

Synchronicity...I already wrote about getting my haircut and finding a possible partner in photography! What I didn't add was that I took a 2 year old birthday party yesterday as an opportunity to take pictures. I'm not going to any weddings that I know of this year, but there are more kids I know having parties and I'm going to use this as an opportunity get the rust out of my photography skills!

There are also a dozen little synchronicities - like friends I haven't talked to in ages calling me out of the blue when I was thinking about them the day before. Things just happening as I want them to - in general I am getting the sense that I am on the right path and doing the right things - finally! It's been a long time since I've felt this way.

Issues significant to my recovery....today in yoga our instructor had us practice many poses where the focus was on opening the chest in a way that fills up the space around the collar bones. I have been wanting to open my heart more and feel more love - and (synchronously!) this is what opening my chest does. It's going to take a lot of practice to lift my chest instead of sinking down, but it will also help with my hand/arm/shoulder aching so I can keep writing and keep typing.

Now, my little one has gone to sleep without tears tonight (whew!) and I'm going to declare week 4 over and go pick up a book!