Long time no blog, expect rambling

Did I really last post on June 1st? Could it really be possible that with all of the thoughts having a marching parade in my head none of them have made it to this blog?

I guess so.

In truth, I was sick for about two weeks, and only yesterday did I feel mostly normal. Strep throat made a home in my body and after a week of suffering I finally drug my spaced-out and exhausted body to the UCSF acute care clinic, waited (im)patiently for a couple hours, helped another mom entertain her two year old boy with a sample jar of playdoh I keep in my bag for that reason, and when I finally saw the nurse practitioner found out I had a temperature of 101 degrees. I thought I felt warm, but heck, what did I know?

Strep throat, she declared, she was quite sure, and gave me an Rx for penicillin. I asked if I should work at Ava's pre-pre-school that day.

"No." Very clear, no hint of doubt. So I scrambled to find coverage and thanks to a good friend and another parent got my time slot covered and went back to laying on the couch when I wanted a change of scenery from my bedroom. Plus I could order an on-demand movie on the couch.

I really thought I would never get better. In the middle of being madly ill it's like that for me - I can't see the light. It was strange enough that after 7 days of being sick I did not feel at all better than day 1. I had a shift in symptoms over the days, but no progress towards wellness.

Penicillin, that's good stuff. I almost never take any kind of pill except a vitamin now and then, so when I do, it works! I was happy about that when I delivered my baby (natural childbirth may be a good thing for others, but I transformed from exhausted viscious pre-mom to ebullient when the epidural hit my system) and I was happy last weekend when two days into penicillin I started feeling better.

Yesterday, though, I actually had energy! Not normal Julie-levels, but enough to put me in a good mood.

I always try and figure out why I get some sickness or another. Colds usually mean I have been going too fast and need to slow down. Take a break. Stay in my pajamas for a day and read books or magazine articles. I didn't know what strep throat was trying to tell me. I thought maybe it had to do with creativity since the throat is the chakra to do with creativity and communication. I tried to be creative by reading SARK's book on making creative dreams real, but I felt more exhausted. I couldn't think of one dream that sounded like a mildly good idea. I could barely get excited for my first kid's yoga class that I taught last Tuesday.

In truth, my brain has been really busy lately. Of course I haven't been meditating. Of course I was trying to do too much busy yoga. Of course I was thinking that I had to do everything within the same milisecond.

The week that I was really sick and stayed home from work, I did my best to practice yoga. When I couldn't sleep because I couldn't breathe out of my nose I would practice savasana upright on pillows. I practiced poses from Light on Yoga's section on helping relieve colds and coughs, which included sirsasana (head stand).

I've been so panicked about doing enough yoga it's amazing I have been able to do any at all. This week I gave myself a break and as it turned out I did plenty to meet my quota. Between practicing the series I taught to toddlers, starting the practice outlined in Yoga The Iyengar Way, and going to exactly one class this week (Restorative, which was wonderful!), I remembered why the 12-step folks have that great adage:

Easy does it.

This took me a long time to comprehend, but when I did, Easy became my friend. Like Buffalo taking the path of least resistance, Easy says, it's okay, you're doing enough, faster and harder aren't better they're just more tiring.

I thought at the end of the Restorative class, what if I made up a class called Easy Yoga. (The domain is already taken, I checked.) It wouldn't be high impact, fast paced yoga, it would be, well, easy. It would be enough, and because of that, would likely do great things.

I haven't figured out if I want to teach adults. I've been assisting in pre-natal classes and I love giving to the nearly Mamas. Yoga gave so much to me as a pre-mom and newly-mom that I would love to give back. I don't know yet though - I may just have a great admiration and respect for the teacher.

Toddlers - they're going to be fun. They're crazy, unpredictable, challenging, charming, and completely adorable. My first class this week went well and I have ideas for how to expand it this week.

There are six weeks left of my yoga teacher training; this is a great thing in that I will have my weekends back. This is a sad thing in that I've become attached to seeing all the great people in my class every week. I always wish I could make friends easier, that I could take the first step towards new people and cross the great divide between acquaintance and friend. In truth, I'm one of those who has a small number of friends I value greatly. I don't always call, but I value them.

Today I went to a baby shower for one of the mom's in Ava's playgroup. The playgroup started over 18 months ago and I looked at the other five moms today and realized something. They're not just moms in the playgroup; they are my friends. Sometimes our personalities sumo wrestle in the background but I value each of them and they have all contributed to me. I'm the least predictable member of the group with a PT job, yoga training, and slices of time for Ava but they haven't given me the boot. I'm the only one of us that isn't either pregnant or nursing a second child but they still welcome me. This is really cool.

Then I have my friend who I will call Becky, because that's her name, who brought me a care package the week that I was super-sick including western medicine (chicken soup) and eastern medicine (miso soup) with a bunch of other goodies. (The clips are awesome, btw, and adorning three things in my cabinet that were previously clipless!)

I'm grateful. I'm extremely grateful that I had enough energy for the excellent class today on twists (sans Chubby) and I gleaned an extra slice of time tonight by not falling asleep at 9pm with Ava. I am grateful to feel better! Grateful that I have great friends that I don't call often enough but I hope know that I treasure and adore them.